Do people really not care what others think of them?
Like, do they say they don’t - act like they don’t, but then go home to the quietness or lay in bed in the darkness and think about what others have said.
I mean, I feel like we were built to people please - or at least attempt to be seen as “good and righteous” in the eyes of others. If someone says something about you and you truly don’t give a flying fuck - are you being true to yourself?
I really want to know.
I try to not care - I’m a grown woman and in my teenage years I spent way too much time and effort on trying to appease people that didn’t care about me and in the long term, didn’t even matter to me. Lots of wasted time.
So, I feel like I’ve learned from that experience and now only put effort to what will help me grow and build better relationships, but will make me mentally stronger.
But no matter how hard I try- people get to me. I’m a person who strives to be the best version of myself.
Yes, I have my faults and I can agree with you on that, but I try to not let people down on a day to day basis. The worst "punishment" to me while growing up was when my father (only once) told me "You disappointed me." And I deserved that because what I did was stupid and definitely the wrong thing to do.
How can one person’s opinion of me affect me to the point I’m writing this blog?!
One comment. One measly comment that said I wasn't adequate enough to do what I do that it attacked my brain into rethinking I'm not as good as I thought I was.
What the hell.
How do you bounce back from that?
Many friends tried to comfort me.
"It was only one comment, Shari."
"A fluke -- just a fluke, Shari."
"You don't need to worry about one's opinion when it's obviously wrong. You have many other compliments and accomplishments to let this one comment affect you."
They all meant well. And they validated me.
But I'm a people pleaser. Why didn't this one person like me?
"You shouldn't give a fuck about what others think of you."
I know ... but how the hell do you do that??!?!!?!
Does it stem from low self-esteem?
I shouldn't be suffering from that. I know my worth. It's taken a long time to find that inside.
Does is stem from not truly understanding yourself?
I could see that. I'm still trying to figure out the way my brain works and how to better myself. I don't think one SHOULD fully understand themselves because you SHOULD want to better yourself.
You're not going to please everyone. I get it. But why be rude about it. It cut deep.
Complimented everyone who was with me ... but blatantly called me out. Was it to stop me from doing what I do? Was it to give me some sort of punishment? Or whatever I did to you hurt soooo badly - hurt your character soooo much - Hurt your manhood soooo much - that you needed me to dwell on it and cause me pain as well?
Because that's what you did.
But it's cool. I will learn to live with your comments and will use them to better myself. Because my supporters are right. You're just one person, and I shouldn't beat myself up because of your lame, cowardly comments (because you couldn't say it to my face). I will use your foolish comments to help me grow - both in my profession and mentally.
I too want to learn how to not give a fuck. But until then, your comments will get me closer to that goal. You can push me down, but you can't stop me from getting back up.
