Friday, July 15, 2016

What the "H" in ADHD really Means | Raising the Boys

This is my eldest.

He has ADHD.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Crazy right? He doesn't look like he has a "disorder" here. 

Or in general.

But none-the-less, he is considered "special" in school. He misbehaves. He talks out of turn. He can't sit still. His brain runs one hundred miles per hour ... every. single. day.

He fixates on a topic and learns everything about that topic and makes sure everyone knows about that one topic. He rolls his eyes if you don't know. And his tone is sharp when correcting you.

To an outsider he looks like a spoiled little brat who consciously acts out in public when he doesn't get his way or if his little brother takes something of his.

He gets labeled the problem child and he sees the school counselor every week and is over-emotional at the slightest of disturbances. 

He'll cry over spilled milk.

He'll smack the shit out of you if you do him wrong.

He'll growl at you when he has to do something he doesn't want to do.

He'll throw stuff across the room when angry.

I have physically restrained him. And I've been to the brink of tears over one of his public melt downs in Walmart.

We go to countless doctor appointments from therapists to psychiatrists to nutritionists and child psychologists. 

He was suspended in kindergarten 
  TWICE.

But because he looks normal, he and our family look chaotic in a not so chaotic society.

Here's the thing folks, my son frustrates the hell out of me. He's messy, disorganized, forgetful, and

HYPER. 

"Oh he's just being a boy." I would hear all the time.

"Medication will zombie him out." They would say.

"Can't you just control him?" Others would glare.

Until they saw him in action.

Why does he HIT out of anger?
He's HYSTERICAL, can't you calm him?
Why does he HOARD all the toys?
What a HORRID way to act in public.
What a HELLISH boy.

I was HURT.
I felt HELPLESS.
It's a HEAVY burden to carry.
How could people be so HEARTLESS to this boy.
It was completely HORRIFYING.

Yes, lots of "H" words could describe what he was going through, what I was going through, what others thought of us. But HYPER never was one that people understood.

Because face it, all children are hyper. And all children are to act a certain way. And that way is to be normal.

But what is NORMAL?

The normal now-a-days isn't what it used to be. ADD and ADHD have become more talked about and more recognized than ever. Some still believe it's a made up disorder. A way of medicating children to be zombies or because parents can't handle their spoiled brats anymore. Parent's don't know how to say no. Parent's are too easy on their children. Parents are weak now.

Blah, Blah, Blah.

Well, wake up. ADD/ADHD is real. It's a chemical imbalance that is a chronic condition marked by persistent inattention, hyperactivity, and sometimes impulsivity. 


ADHD is a common behavioral disorder that affects about 10% of school-age children. Boys are about three times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with it, though it's not yet understood why.

Kids with ADHD act without thinking, are hyperactive, and have trouble focusing. They may understand what's expected of them but have trouble following through because they can't sit still, pay attention, or focus on details.
http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/adhd.html 


So get your head out of your ass and see my son as he is:

Happy
Handsome
Healthy
Humorous
Hopeful
And did I mention Happy?

He's a happy little boy who is struggling to find his place in the world. He's constantly fighting spontaneous behaviors and deciding which one is the proper way to act and which ones aren't. 

But he's my boy and I'm hopeful that he will someday understand that his happiness doesn't come from what others think of him. He is a unique superhero who's constantly fighting the "bad guys" and honestly, he's my hero.

That's what the "H" really stands for.



No comments:

Post a Comment