I'm not a first time mom, but I feel like I'm learning every single second of the day with my littlest. He is so different than my eldest AND he has me to himself all day long.
My eldest grew up in a daycare.
I hate that term.
But none-the-less, he did.
Both parents who were full-time soldiers, working 6am - 5pm (give or take), the kid had to be taken care of for those long hours Monday through Friday.
Can't just stay home alone.
Now, let me reiterate. He GREW up in a daycare, he wasn't RAISED by daycare. He was raised by his mother and father. He just happened to grow taller, talk better, and socialize at daycare for almost 7 years.
So full time moms and dads - don't let anyone say someone, or some institute RAISED your child(ren), you did. No one else.
You just had a little help.
Side note: When I made the decision to not be a full time soldier anymore, I had my commander AND my first sergeant say, and I quote, "Good to hear, your son shouldn't be raised by strangers." I was so dumbfounded that both of my leaders would say something like that to a young soldier who really didn't want to give up her career. How dare they say, a) I would leave my child with STRANGERS -- uh no, I actually checked out the daycare and vetted the staff very closely to take care of my little bundle of joy; and b) that they assumed that I don't RAISE my child, but relied on someone else to. Uh - again, he was there at daycare all day, but I still fed him, bathed him, taught him his ABCs, taught him to potty, taught him right from wrong, spent all morning and evenings loving him and weekends were a blast. So don't you dare let anyone say that daycare RAISED you or your child. END VENT
Back to my actual post topic:
I never really had an issue dropping my eldest off at daycare or at someone's house for few hours , because face it, he was used to it.
"Oh mom has to go to work. See you soon Mom."
My littlest - this is a different story.
I'm proud to say I have a momma's boy.
I'm not proud to say that he may be my favorite.
Oh come on - I know, no parent is supposed to have a favorite. I know. But I know you do. ;) Listen, I'm not going to be his buddy for long, he won't cuddle me, or kiss me, or hug me much longer. So I'm holding onto this as much as possible. As soon as he gets his preteen attitude, he will no longer be my favorite. (PS, My eldest was my favorite at three years old too. So don't go looking down on me or saying I'm a horrible mother for having favorites.)
Listen, I KNOW you have a kid or two that you enjoy just hanging out with because they don't argue or make annoying sounds or whatever. LOL PLUS, when my toddler is having a tantrum ... he is no longer my favorite. So there.
In NC, before we moved to TX, my littlest was really good at being left at an hourly daycare. I do think it helped that his brother was there too. Even if he had to go to our daily daycare, at least he knew his brother was in the big kids room.
Well, here - my littlest is a nightmare to leave at a daycare near my home. He immediately says he doesn't want to go to "school." But he follows me into the building. I sign him in, he's busy grabbing everything off the counter, I pay the daycare ... and then grab his hand to walk him to the room.
This is when all hell breaks loose.
He screams, he cries, he toddlers (lets his legs go loose and I end up dragging him). Usually the teacher is reading a book or singing to the kids ... she has to get up (interrupting learning) to come grab my littlest from my arms. I give a quick kiss and tell him I'll be back soon.
As I walk out the building, I can hear his screams echoing down the hall.
I feel bad. I do. But I know it has to happen. He will be starting real school soon and he needs to separated from me. He needs to know he can survive in someone else's care and I'll always come back.
I called my friend back in NC and almost cried on the phone explaining to her the situation. She listened and then she explained her experiences. And said, "kiss him, say you'll be back, and go." She said, he'll more than likely stop crying within 10 minutes and be just fine. And I know this is true because when I go to pick him up, he doesn't want to leave. But man, that stinker had me in tears that morning feeling bad for him.
Lately, he still says he doesn't want to go to school, I mean, who does? But he looks up at me with those big gorgeous blue/green eyes and says, "I'm not gonna cry momma. Imma big boy."
He's learning. He's socializing. And I get to breath without a toddler crawling all over me. I get to sit here and blog, edit my photos, workout, and house clean. I mean, I can do that with him here too, but there's always an interruption - a tv channel change, a snack needed, a "get outta the office kid, you're making a mess." LOL
And it's a great feeling to see his face lighten up when he comes in through the house door with daddy and exclaims, "mommy!"
And I get the biggest bear hug a 3 foot toddler can give.
Good luck y'all, it gets easier. And remember, each child is different. Take each day at a time. What happened yesterday, may not happen today. Good or bad. You've got this!
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