Just Co-Living at the Moment | Loving Him

My husband and I just celebrated our 13th year of marriage.

Thank you *takes bow* a-thank-u

Long military marriages are rare ... I mean, I hate to bring out the statistics ... but marriage/divorce rates are ridiculously high in the military.

Is it because we are a smaller population than one would think? Or is it really just that bad?

I don't know. But I am proud to say that we are not part of that statistic.

However ...

(there's always a however huh?)

I do want to say that 13 years feels like forever. I mean, not literally. I do enjoy marriage and I don't really think we are growing old (at least in heart). But at the same time ... things have changed.

We aren't those two love birds in the park parking lot making out on the car hood.

Ga-ROSS.

We don't send lovey-dovey texts to one another every second of the day. We settle for once every few days. ;)

We aren't in a constant tangle of limbs any more.

And we normally don't go to bed at the same time...

We are merely co-living at the moment.

And that's okay.

I'm okay with it, I sure hope he's okay with it.

We are okay.

Life sorta gets in the way of being a couple sometimes.

Right now, we have an infant who eats every two hours, wakes up in the middle of the night and needs our undivided attention 24/7.

We have a toddler who is getting used to the fact that he isn't the youngest any more. In fact, being the middle child sorta sucks for him at the moment. He is afraid of his room that he will eventually share with his sister. Absolutely hates her fox decor and has been an emotional wreck lately because all he wants is the attention back on him.

Then there's our eldest, ADHD/Autistic son who has grown into a smart-ass with lots and lots of attitude. He wants the attention the littles are stealing and he's going to get it anyway he can - even if it's negative. He argues over everything ... even the smallest, minute things. The other day, we argued over three pieces of candy versus four pieces. I mean ... come on.

By the time bedtime rolls around, all we want to do is get the kids to sleep so that we can lounge in our prospective spots on the couch with the TV noise in the background and us staring at our Facebook newsfeed, catching up on other peoples "normal" lives.

Therapists and other happy couples may tell you that we are not doing the right thing. "You should take time with each other and treat it as a romantic evening in. Give each other your full attention."

Blah.

I mean, I get it. We need to still pay attention to each other. After all, we wouldn't have the family we have if it didn't first start with us and being so crazy in love that we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I mean ...

I get it.

But right now. I'm nursing and postpartum. I don't want to mess around at night.

He's back to working long hours and *ahem* ... had a surgery. So I'm sure he's just wanting to sleep at night as well.

We're co-living right now.

And that's okay.

Soon we will get back to US. We will. I know we will.

But right now, the stress level in this house just needs to be dealt with as a parenting unit and all of our energy needs to go to these wacked-out kids who need the love they are screaming for.

He's still my best friend. He's still my heart and soul. He still means everything to me.

But right now, the baby is crying to be fed. The toddler needs a hug. And the boy needs to clean his room....

But we are okay.

Tighten Down the Hatches | 'Werkit' Out Wednesday

   As I near out my "6 weeks recovery" postpartum, I've been itching to get moving again.

I mean, I understand the whole purpose of waiting 6 weeks after birth to do anything ... your body just went through hell to bring life into this world ... but BOY! Am I bored and tired of being "chubby!"

One issue though ... I'm still nursing. I nursed my middle boy while I trained for a half marathon. So, I mean, it's not THAT big of a deal. I just remember the hassle of sports bras and nursing while on a long run with the stroller (and baby of course).

I felt like I was in a straight-jacket. You need a bra that is tight enough to keep your ladies from jiggling too much, but you also want a bra that is comfortable if you HAD to nurse in a jiffy.

There was no in-between.

So I went to the best sources I knew, Facebook friends.

I asked them about the best nursing sports bras that they could think of. A lot offered their opinions, but most said Motherhood (the store) had the best, most comfy sports nursing bras out there. So, I headed to Motherhood.

motherhood.com

This is what I found ... though cute, this is not going to hold my large nursing boobs full of milk while I run. I did try on the bra just in case I was just being stubborn.

I did a few jumping jacks in the changing room, and sure enough, I almost lost an eye. This sports bra is probably good for Yoga or low impact exercise ... definitely not running or lifting or high impact exercise. Mostly, I believe, is because of the straps. They don't support. So you're relying on main part of the bra to compress but gravity takes over.

I did however, purchase a few sleep nursing bras from Motherhood that are OH SO comfy and cute too! I mean, I have TWO lacy sleep bras and I actually feel sexy laying next to my hubby. I mean, I'm still wearing my moo moo to bed, but at least I have lace underneath! 

When I went back to my Facebook friends to tell them my discovery on the bra, they all said the same thing, "Oh yeah. I didn't run in my bras."

Well, with a little dismay I headed to Amazon.com to try and find some damn bras. I was determined not to strangle myself while nursing and training.

I found pretty much the same types of "sports bras" online. Apparently society (or at least businesses) don't think nursing mommas like to run as well.

I DID stumble across Le Leche League's sports nursing bras:

Amazon.com

I was skeptical, so I read the reviews on it from women who had purchased it.

It seemed that the low ratings outdid the high ratings ... but I thought in the back of my head, "It's Le Leche League ... They know what they're talking about and why would they endorse a shit product?"

So I took the leap and purchased two.

And I love them.

They hold my big ass puppies down (as much as a normal sports bra would), they fit fine, they nurse great and I dig it. I'm not a small lady ... I purchased large because according to the sizing chart that's what I'd be. (and I wear large normal nursing bras) I was nervous about the fit because a lot of reviews said they were smaller than actual fit, but I figured smaller would be good. Tighter, less bounce.

They fit GREAT. I honestly think it's true to fit. I don't know why other ladies said they were smaller ... but my bras fit great. They look great under the shirt (most nursing bras make you look saggy ... in my opinion).

You do get the uni-boob that most regular sports bras give, but what do you expect?! It's a tight sports bra that actually works in holding down your breasts!

The opening for the nursing section is held together with a clasp (which I love because pull downs stretch and loose their tightness after a while)

The one thing I DON'T like? The clasp is up near the collar bone, much higher than other nursing bras. It can be difficult trying to be discrete and unlatch the clasp with one hand, but it's workable.

 Just today I went for a 1 mile jog with the bra. There is bounce, but not too much. I mean, I think it's going to vary on how big you actually are. But this bra actually makes it possible to do high impact exercising while nursing. Way to go Le Leche League!

They have many different colors, but for my size I got the boring colors, grey and black. LOL But you should go purchase your own today! Click HERE!

Even if you don't own or want to buy a high impact nursing sports bra, get outside and move! Push your baby in the stroller on a nice walk or baby wear him/her around the block. The main key to getting back to feeling like yourself after pushing a watermelon out your crotch, is moving. Stretch, do yoga, etc. Just move!

'Werkit' out guys!

A Change in the Mix | My Hot Mess

We are in deep doo-doo here guys.

I haven't blogged in a while because, well, I did a thing.

Actually,

BIRTHED a thing.

A GIRL.

Guys, we have gone from a family of a husband, a wife, two boys, two male dogs and a male cat to adding another female in the mix.

A human baby girl.

I'm no longer a mommy of boys!

Not only do I have to get used to having three children, but I gotta get used to all the girlie things.

Which let's be honest, is amazing. Like, I'm not too set on society norms ... pink means girl, blue means boy kinda shit. But I mean, it IS different having a baby girl in the house now.

And I love it.

Like, my two loud, obnoxious, rough boys are learning to be gentle and more "soft."

.... As much as an ADHD hormonal boy can and a (now) FOUR year old can.

Maybe she will bring calm to our world. Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice -- right?

A momma can hope right?

Even up to my last night being pregnant, walking up to the hospital, I wasn't 100% convinced the tiny human growing inside me was a girl. After all... I had the shirt and all!

Sure, we had bought a few girlie things. An outfit here, a pink bow there ... but the majority of the "stuff" we got was still gender neutral (or hand me downs from the boys). I was just too afraid to commit to the ultra sound that said "Girl." I mean, after all, I WAS a momma of boys. 

People thought I was crazy when I posted the Instagram pic that said the gender was in an envelope and wouldn't be opened for another month or two until we had our photo session. 

"I couldn't last that long!"

"How are you not peeking at the envelope?"

"It would eat me up inside not knowing!"

It was fairly easy to not look at the envelope, one - I put it where it wasn't in plain view. Two - we went a whole pregnancy not knowing what my youngest was last time. We found out his gender when I pushed him out of my belly. And three - I was convinced it was a boy anyway.

So lemme tell you my surprise when this happened:

We let the boys spray silly string to let us know if we were having a boy or girl. I had bought both blue and pink string and covered both with silver paper so we wouldn't know once the lids were off. 

Our photographer looked at the envelope away from us to ensure we couldn't see her slip the lids off and on the count of three, we were dosed in pink silly string. 

I couldn't believe it. The photographer showed me the ultra sound ... and I still didn't believe it. LOL

I had to go back for another ultra sound due to little miss not wanting to show her profile for the doc in the first ultra sound, and even then they double checked her sex ... still a girl they said. But even then, there was no way I was having a girl. Why? Because I wanted a girl so bad, but I was a momma of boys. Every time someone asked if I knew what I was having, I'd respond, "They say a girl. But nothing is final until the baby comes out!" People would giggle, but I was completely serious. Completely.

And then this little nugget came out. The first thing I asked as everyone was oh-ing and aw-ing when she came out, "Is it a girl?" No one answered. My husband was misty eyed as they put her on my chest. I lifted her up and checked in between her legs, sure enough. I was a momma of a girl now.

Why am I telling y'all this? Because I feel like a brand new momma. Sure I have the experience of how to travel with a baby, change a diaper, breastfeed ... etc ... but I have a girl now. I've never experienced taking care of a girl... at least my own little princess. 

Guys, it really is different! I have to say "she," "her," and everything! LOL and "my little girl," "my daughter" everything is different. And I love it. I really can't explain it. The boys will always have a piece of my heart and the little one that didn't make it, BUT this little rainbow girl has got me wrapped around her finger already!

I will probably have a section just for her in the blog because she has her own story to share, along with her big brothers.

So bring on the pink bows, the unicorns, the princesses, the dolls and the glitter - I'm ready. And you better believe she'll be just as tough and rough as the boys because momma don't raise no sissy-la-las.