Knowing Your Business | Girl Boss

Guys, being your own boss is amazing. 

I'm not going to lie.

But it also sucks.

You always have to answer to yourself. You always have to hold yourself accountable. You always blame yourself when monies aren't looking right. You always get angry at yourself when things go awry. There's no one else to blame but YOURSELF.

I'm in a creative business. I'm a photographer. There's a lot of heart that goes into my services that I provide and I take a lot of pride in that.

When someone insults my work (with not legit reason) or how I run things, I take it hard. I don't let it break me, but it does make me want to rethink how I do things.

HOWEVER -- 

When this happens to me, its very few and far. So, that being said - the majority of my clients (the clients I want to keep coming back to me) love my work and how I run my business. I have a ton of positive feedback that proves this. Shit, I've been in business for five years now. I'm reaching that goal mark in my business plan that allows me to say, "I've made it longer than most self-employed business owners."

And I can honestly say, my work speaks for itself. I recently had a message that bothered me and I made a Facebook rant ... I know, I know -- girl stop the drama. But I want y'all to know this and take this into perspective - no matter what sort of business you have:

I'm just gonna put this out there, you can grab it or you can turn away:

When you buy something online, you HAVE to pay the full price for it to get shipped to you. You HAVE to rely on the fact that the pictures speak for themselves and that the company you are ordering from is legit. It may or may not fit. It may or may not be the right color. It may or may not be what you wanted, but you had to pay the full price. You read over the return policy (or not) but either way, the company is not going to say, "Oh sure! Pay half now and half when you get your product." Because of course, you (or other consumers) will definitely pay the rest of the payment once you have the product in hand and love it .... 

Same thing goes for photographers people. No, I'm not going to let you put some money down for a photo session "just in case you don't like the images." What an insult to my work. You are paying for a service, and I will be giving you that service whether you like the images or not. But more than likely, you're going to love that service because I care about you. I want you to LOVE your images. I will ensure you're satisfied. So, I'm sorry -- if you don't want to pay up front, I'm not the photographer for you. I'm not afraid to say no, because this is my business and I'm proud of it.

 Guys, it's so hard to get people to understand the difference between paying more for a small business than paying less from a HUGE company. You're getting personalize service. I've written numerous "rants" on Facebook. And sometimes, you just need perspective:

It frustrates the hell out of me when people don't appreciate the time and love that goes into creating an image for them. If you simply just want someone to click the damn button, get your mom to do that or set a self timer. Don't question me why I am priced the way I am. It's called making a living and before you go pay $6 for a coffee, $150 for a pair of shoes, or $250 for a dress -- all from businesses that could care less if they got your money or not because they are already banking, think of the small businesses who take the time to personalize their service to Y.O.U. 

Small businesses don't just take your money and wave good bye, small businesses ensure that the money you are paying is for exactly what you want -- creative or not. They call you to make sure you got the gallery link, they ensure that everything makes sense when you ordering and even catch mistakes you may have made in the ordering process to ensure you're getting the best deal. They personally review every product you are to receive to ensure quality. They take time away from their own families to ensure your family gets the best and greatest. They sometimes check emails when they are technically aren't within business hours. They check their calendars to see if they could possibly squeeze you in even though they really just want to spend that time with their own family. They ensure you are completely satisfied and they hope you'll be a returning customer again and again. 

There's a lot a small business owner does for a client, don't question why they charge the way they do. Every number has been calculated to ensure cost of business, taxes, equipment costs and in hopes there will still be some left over for some sort of income. But really, a small business owner is running his or her own business because they love what the do. If you don't want to pay what a small business owner charges, then go somewhere else, but think before you question them on why they charge the way they do. 

If you want Walmart prices, you're going to get Walmart quality. If you like Walmart quality and service, continue to go to them and leave small business owners alone. There's no need to publicly question them in hopes of discrediting them.
thank you.

**steps off soap box**

I take everything to heart guys. I need you to be as proud and confident as I appear on Facebook to be. Yes, I still struggle with doubt and always think I could've done better. I still seek out compliments from people and I still wish I was "as good as so-and-so." BUT I think that's good. You always want to strive for better, because if you already think you're the best - there's no room for growth.

Girl Bosses out there - own your worth! You are worth every single penny! 

Stay true to yourselves ladies!

Roll with the Punches | Wearing Stripes

If you've been in the military longer than a day, you've heard the term:

Hurry up and wait.

That's what the military is all about. You will always be ready, even if the military isn't. That's actually the point of the military.

To always be trained, just in case. 

You're ready for battle, even if there isn't a battle to be fought.

Grab all your shit and bring it to formation, yes, you still have an hour or so before you leave - but you will be there.

Oh, and if you're not 10 minutes early to that hour early formation, you're wrong.

You will always be early, to the early formation.

It's just how it is.

You've gotta roll with the punches. 

After 13 years, it's second nature now. I don't sigh, roll my eyes, ask questions to why we are ready so early. (or at least not out loud or visibly)

I have been let down by the military before, and it'll happen many more times.

Not everything is going to be the way I want it.

Being a Reserve soldier, rolling with the punches is my second MOS (job title). However, it's a tad more difficult because you're not a soldier 24/7, you've also got a civilian job that needs to roll with the punches too.

In my case? I have to plan my own business around military events like battle assemblies, training, and other admin things. So I have a tad more flexibility but it's still annoying when you're told to be at training or a school, and you plan everything dealing with that event - daycare, travel, packing, paperwork - to only find out one week prior to event date that your event paperwork wasn't even approved because it was sitting on someone's desk for 2 months.

Reason? Because of them assuming something and didn't ask to clarify.

Sigh.

I know. Roll with the punches.

October is my photography business's busiest month because of the holidays and everyone wanting to update their family photos for holiday cards. I blocked off two weeks of potential client sessions to go to this school. And now I'm not.

Yes, now I get to reopen those dates for potentially earning more clients, but how many clients did I lose because I wasn't available when they needed me to be?

You get it? 

It sucks. It really does. 

Not only did it affect my personal business, but it also affected my military career because now I have to potentially wait till the next year to attend school, pushing off my professionalism status even longer.

But, you've got to roll with the punches. 

I get to stay home with the family and do all the Fall activities I was going to miss. Pumpkin Patches, pumpkin carving, I have more time to make the halloween costumes, I get to enjoy the Texas Fall weather in the mountains and relax.

Deal with it.

I put my big girl panties on. Did you?

Rock on!

Toddler from Hell | Raising the Boys

You ever go to  a doctor's appointment and leave thinking, "Well that was the most pointless appointment in the world?"

Yeah, that just happened.

Let me set the scene:

4am - toddler wakes up and does NOT ... like NOPE ... want to go back to bed. 

415am - said toddler goes into brother's room "Pst! PST! You 'wake?"

430am - I hear said toddler shuffle up to my bed.

433am - I drag said toddler back into his room, him crying, and place him back in bed with a book.

5am - said toddler is quiet.

530am - said toddler is awake again, trying to get brother's attention

545am - both boys are awake and playing in brother's room

6am - (normal time to wake up for school but because we have a doctor's appt, we really don't have to be up until 645am) Big brother is bored and wants to go in front room.

605am - Me, "NO! stay in your room and be quiet!"

610am - Big brother, "but I'm hungry!"

615am - Boys are giggling in brother's room, and I don't care. Just as long as I get to sleep a little longer.

630am - Big brother, "Mom ... Mom ..."     Me, "go away. do you want me to be grumpy?"

635am - toddler screams, I get up and the chaos begins.

640am-715am - brother needs to dress, eat, take meds, clean the mess he and his brother made. Toddler needs fed, dressed and he too needs to pick up his room that he and his brother messed up. I am making snacks for the road trip.

725am - we get in car. head the 20 mins to hospital. But traffic occurs and I take the gateway instead, but that wasn't any quicker as EVERYONE was on the gateway because the highway was backed up. But not as bad as the gateway, so I should've just stayed behind the huge semi carrying 5 billion cars.

750am - I'm about 10 minutes away, and that's good because the appointment is in 10 mins.

758am - enter the hospital entrance just to be called out of the gate entrance for a "random" inspection. I express my frustrations to the MPs, they check the car after I open all doors, the trunk and the hood, and look up the insurance on the phone mobily. (if that's a word)

805am - enter hospital garage.

810am - walk down stairs because elevator is too slow. Enter hospital.

810am-818am - wander around the "first floor" trying to find said doctor office only to find out the floor we entered on (ground level) is actually level 3. So we go down one set of stairs ... wander, then another set (because we didn't know it was level three until we went down the first set of stairs. 

818am - finally get into the doctor office 18 minutes late. He takes us straight in. 

You'd think the story ends there. 

Welp. It doesn't.

Now, my eldest (who has ADHD) has been having other physical issues due to either his meds, diet, mental, .... whatever. So this appointment was to talk to a nutritionist about his diet. I thought it was a good idea and was referred to it by the regular medical doctor as an option.

I mean, if this doc can give some insight to what's going on with my eldest, shit, I'll take the advice.

All throughout the appointment, the doc only spoke to me. My eldest complained he was bored (even though he brought TWO Harry Potter books to read). The toddler touched every single piece of equipment the doctor had.

Every time I corrected the toddler, the toddler would scream. And not like a little shrill, no. Like a full blown scream that rattled the ear drums.

I gave in and gave the phone to the toddler to play games or watch movies. But nope, he kept pushing buttons that messed up the game or stopped the movie. Eldest would "try to help" but in reality he'd just play the game while his little brother screamed because he wanted the phone back.

After about 10 minutes of this, I took the phone away. Thus adding more screams, tears, and tantrums.

The doctor talked to me about proper nutrition, what he should and shouldn't be eating.

And that was it. I was out of the office within 15 minutes.

Guys.

I've heard this schpill 5 billion times already by the other 8 doctors my eldest has seen. The medical doctor. The psychiatrist. The psychologist. The behavior therapist. The GI. The nurse that took the blood pressure .... I mean. What was the point of this appointment?

I thought maybe it was to start a food diary. Or make a meal plan. Or do weekly check ins about meals.

SOMETHING.

But no, that was it.

All that stress, and I don't feel any closer to a solution than I did when I first started this journey. And really, my son didn't need to miss school for this. I had to wait a month to see this doctor, take the kid outta school, and for what? Nothing.

Because of the move, this "issue" that my son has been having has had to restart with everything because each doctor doesn't want to call up the other to ask about progress or what has been going on to deter the issue already. I have offered phone numbers multiple times. Each wants to make their own diagnostic and be the hero.

When in reality, all I want is a solution.

Shit. It took 2 flipping months for my son to finally get prescribed the ADHD meds he needs to focus in school. In which he's been going to school without meds because .... ahem ... military healthcare insurance is great because it's "free" BUT it takes flipping forever to get anything accomplished.

Sigh.

I want to pull my hair out.

I want to go to bed, pull the sheets over my head, and go to sleep ...

for like a MONTH.

Sleeping Beauty had it right. I should prick my finger on the sewing machine I'm pulling out today to make the kids Halloween costumes and fall into a slumber for a month.

Shit, I'll take 10 hours. 

I'll put a note taped to my forehead to my husband that says, "don't kiss me awake until Oct 1."

That'd be the life huh?

But then I'd miss all the giggles, all the hugs and kisses. All the important moments in growing up and all the love they share with me.

It truly is, a catch 20.

Good luck y'all ... and remember there's always chocolate.

You Are What Your Mind Is | 'Werkit' Out Wednesday

Today sucked. 


I woke up too tired. I woke up to grumpy. I didn't want to do anything. 

However, since I started the Strolling Eagles group (part of TeamRWB El Paso), I knew I had to get out of the house and get up with them to do our weekly Wednesday 5K. 

Now, I've been having issues with my stroller keeping air in it's tires. I don't know if it's the desert out here, the heat or if it's just my luck. I have horrible luck with tires. Ask anyone of my friends. I'm always changing a tire on the car, the truck, or pumping air into my stroller. 

The best lesson in life that my dad ever gave me was how to change a tire on the car. Fathers out there ... Make sure you teach your daughter  (or son) how to change a tire. 

It's a very important life lesson. 

Anyways, I did not want to work out today at all, so the fact that I had to put air in the tire again, get my butt all the way to Fort Bliss, and still have to put on a happy face when I see the ladies  ... because actually, I am happy to see them, I just don't want to run. 

By the time I got to Fort Bliss, I was ready to run and get it over. However, we waited, out of courtesy for another woman, who was running a little late. 

Face it,

We know what happens when you have little kids and you're trying to get out the door ... I mean look at me. I really didn't want to come out. 

Either way, we waited 10 minutes and I think that's what got me. My body was like, "Well you're here but you're not running ... so let's just go and be more grumpy."


We finally stepped out on foot through the trail. The trail is dirt, but it's like a graded dirt. It's still hard on a stroller ... pushing a 26 pound child ... and with freshly watered from sprinklers. Not to mention that the tired I just pumped up is now going flat. 

Yeah. 

I was not happy. 

Totally wasn't feeling it, was getting tired, and the sun was hot. It just didn't feel right. My brain was definitely beating my body. 

Luckily, the women that I run with are very supportive and when someone would pass me, they would cheer me on. One lady walked with me for a little bit. But the whole fact is that my brain beat me. 

The brain is the most powerful muscle in your body and if it says it's not going to do something, it's not going to do something. You have to trick it , and tell it that it's not in charge right now. 

Now, we don't want it to totally stop working because we all know what happens when people don't use their brains. However, if we make it work for us and make it think what we want it to think ,we can accomplish anything. 

That's in an any life situation. 

When you're running and you don't want to or you're trying to get to that extra mile you don't want to or if you're trying to get that job and it just seems too out of reach or if you can't reach that promotion that you been trying to get. 

You really have to believe in yourself.

If it's something you really want to accomplish, you're going to accomplish it and you've got to find a way to how to. Whether that's tricking your brain into thinking that you can do it or excepting defeat and try again. 

It's not an issue to accept defeat because sometimes our goals maybe unattainable at the moment. You can't beat yourself up if you don't make it, you try, try again. 

That's one big thing in my family. We never say we can't do something. 

We always try and if we don't succeed, we'll try again or will try to do it a different way. 

I know I won't be the best runner out there. However, if I can be my own personal last timed event, Then I have succeeded in something. 

There's always going to be someone better than you, no matter what you might succeed in. You may succeed in one thing but fail in another. Or you might not succeed in anything but you might just reach that standard and that's okay. 

That's you.

I'm sort of talking in circles right now but the whole fact is that you have to believe in yourself and you have to change your mindset on how you want to achieve your goals or achieve the day. 

If you want to be grumpy all day long, then be grumpy all day long. That's fine. Just understand that if you're grumpy all day long, then your kids will be grumpy all day long, your spouse will be grumpy all day long, whoever you encounter will be grumpy because you're setting off that vibe to everyone. 

Try, just try, to see the good in whatever situation arises. Don't mask it just realize there is a good to a bad. 

I didn't want to go out today and the pharmacy wouldn't fill my sons prescription (a whole other stupid story),  now I have to go to the doctor and do a whole new prescription for him. Blah blah blah.... BUT I still went to that run and I let out that anger on the track ...even though it wasn't my best run.

Not even close.

Though, I can see that if I had gone home and sulked, it would've been a lazy, lazy day and I wouldn't have accomplished anything.

And I would be completely MISERABLE. 

Today's going to be busy, but I've set my mind to accomplish what I need to accomplish today and we'll see how it goes.

Good Luck y'all!

You be YOU!

Life is best lived with just a hint of sarcasm | My Hot Mess

Wouldn't it be awesome if we could just believe in luck and fate and be happy? Life would be simpler and more enjoyable, wouldn't it? Lucky rabbits' feet and shiny horse shoes and four leaf clovers would rule the world. Our fate would be written by the stars and we'd accept life as we saw it and nothing more. Simple. Happy.

AND
                              SO
                                                        BORING!

Choice. Challenge. Failure. Stubbornness. And just a hint of sarcasm make the world go round. What would have happened if Columbus accepted that the world was flat?? What would happen if Newton never challenged why that apple fell? What if Edison said, "F-it. I give up and accept that my fate is to not contain electricity." We'd be a sad, sad bunch of barbarians, stumbling around in the dark, scratching our butts. 

Accept the challenges in your life. Yeah, it may suck for right now, but embrace the suck. Dust off the dirt. And aim to do better. 

No, it's not easy. Not at all. Shit, I struggle with this minute to minute of my day since I live with an emotional 8-year-old who has behavior issues that steam from the power struggle the two of us strive to win. Yeah. It sucks. I don't want to argue with him. Yeah, I'd love to go one day - hell, one hour, without raising my voice. Sure, it'd be nice to have a child who doesn't question my every move.

WHAT FUN IS THAT? 

How do we become better with out that struggle? That challenge? 

But Shari ... how DO I embrace that struggle? How do I get through the day without punching someone in the face?

Just
a
hint
of 
sarcasm.

"Oh because that's sooooo easy to do Shari. Lemme go ahead and hop on my fucking rainbow of sunshine and sprinkle the fairy dust that I stole from a smiling, sprinkle-infested unicorn on the side of the road. Whom also happened to have a drunken leprechaun on her back who gave me a swig of his magic juice that took me on the highest trip of my life."

See? You're doing it right now. 

Made you smile right? No, you don't have to say the sarcastic response you have out loud -- because face it, you may end up with the black eye or fired or divorced or on the most wanted poster. (and no one looks good on those posters.)

But it gave you a moment to not think of the challenge and made you smile. It gave you a timeout and a breather. Rejuvenated you and now you're ready to charge at full steam at that challenge.

PUT ME BACK IN THE GAME COACH!