Playground Quickie | Werkit Out Wednesday

You guys hear me say it all the time. You don't need fancy equipment to make a workout happen. 

Shit, you don't even need a sitter! 

(but it would be nice i'mma right?!)

It warp speed ... I kid. But seriously, here's a 20 minute workout in a few seconds.

I ran to the nearby park with my two youngest kiddos and did this as one napped in her stroller and the other played.

15 standing pull-ups using playground equipement

20 step-ups (10 each leg) using playground stairs (or bench)

10 elevated push-ups using bench

25 v-ups using bench

20 bicycle crunches

Repeat 3 times

Get out there and Werkit Out Peeps!!!

As always, I am not a trained exercise coach. I am not a doctor. I assume no liability to any injuries you may endure. You should seek medical advice if you are planning on starting a new exercise regiment. I'm just here to show you there are options to get in a workout while being a busy mom. 

Here we go again | PCS take 2 | My Hot Mess

As y’all may remember from my other recent PCS post, HERE, we are months from heading back to Fort Bragg, NC.

We are months from starting ALL OVER again.

Okay, I’m being a little melodramatic. I mean, we aren’t starting ALL over again. We did live there before.

FOR 12 YEARS.

So I mean, we have that going for us. BUT we did sell our home. So we’ve been in the process of finding a new home. Of course, we know the area and we are using the same trustworthy realtor that sold our home to find us a new home.

But shit y’all, shopping for a home across the country BLOWS!

We are using the app ZILLOW to look through homes. We did the same thing when we moved to Fort Bliss, Texas to find our rental home. It’s a great app - if the sellers’ realtor spends the extra moola to have a professional take pics of their home! I mean - that’s really how we’ve decided in the past where we were going to live in El Paso because when you’re deciding between a home that has “meh” pictures and a home that has outstanding photos detailing all the good in the home - of course you’re going to pick the better photographed home!

I guess I’m close to this matter anyway, being a photographer myself and having friends who photograph homes for a living. But I mean, come on guys! If you’re selling/renting a home and your realtor/home manager doesn’t hire a professional photographer - find yourself another realtor.

Okay, off my soapbox - main point of this post is that trusting the realtor you’re working with is crucial. Our realtor, Amethyst, has walked us through every process. And lemme tell ya ... we've had a lot of dumb questions. She’s a military spouse as well and understands our struggles and the current market. Not to mention, has a great network of people around Fayetteville that take care of her clients. We felt it when we were sellers and now feeling it again as buyers.

Yes, this is a little plug for her but also a little lesson in PCSing and buying a new home. Granted, we've only sold one house and in the process of buying our second one. I know others have WAY more experience at this. But I have heard some horrid stories about not being able to find housing once getting into town - both on post or off. (At any installation - no one specifically). Large families staying in hotels for weeks upon months...animals being kenneled for long periods because temporary housing wouldn’t allow etc.

I knew that I wanted to come to a home the second we got in town. That's what we did coming to El Paso, that's what I wanted to do again. We spent 5 days in a hotel in Fayetteville because we had sold our home but we couldn't leave for a few days with our three pets (our children were luckily with grandparents) when we were coming to El Paso - and it was cramped and not fun. Could you imagine a family of 5 with two (our cat died while in Texas) animals in a hotel?!?!

No thank you.

Using Zillow, we’ve been able to browse many houses in the area(s) we preferred and bid on one - unfortunately as perfect as it was, we lost the bid. Like it was perfect y’all. Lol.

It was disappointing for obvious reasons but also because our realtor was amazing in setting up quick house tours for us and videoing her walk thru. Like - how amazing is that?! She took the time to walk thru the homes for us and not only give her opinion of the house but to video it for us so we could see the state of it right at the moment. Giving today’s technology - this is crucial. Again, trusting your realtor and knowing he/she will work for you to ensure you get what you want is CRUCIAL!

But we got back in and searched newly released homes and bid on another - after much anxiety. We are currently under contract for it - YAY!!! So fingers crossed everything goes well and we will be homeowners once more.

I’m excited to be able to have an address to forward mail, to change billing info to, to fill out in school applications, to make cute mailing stamps with, and all the other change of address things that need to happen.

Another tip I suggest is having someone you trust who lives in the city (if you have that luxury) to set up an appointment to walk thru the home as well. I have a friend here who had her sister walk thru a home before they put an offer in. I will probably try to fly out to walk thru the home before closing BUT if I can't, I'll be sweet talking some of my friends out there to help a sister out!

VA Loans ... I'm not the subject matter expert here. But all I can tell you a this moment is, your realtor SHOULD be able to dumb down the process to get you to the right lender to get everything settled. You shouldn't have to do anything except submit the proper paperwork for your credit to be scanned and wait for a lender to accept. Running credit is always scary ... at least it is to me and I have fairly good credit. I always wonder what the lender is thinking when they see bank accounts cross by and they're like ... "that's ALL they have in savings?" or "They think they can buy a $200K house on that income?" haha! I'd love to be a fly on the wall.

Put into considerations as well, even though the house we are under contract for isn't exactly what we wanted, it is pretty damn near close. AND we kept telling ourselves - it's not our forever home. I think military families ... and families that move a lot in general for work or other reasons - think this often. I mean, you just need a place to live in and tolerate for the time you're going to be working at said location. You want to be comfy, you want to have luxury, and you don't want to hate the home you're living in for 2-5 years.

I believe looking for a home that isn't your forever home is much easier. I already pity the realtor who is going to help us find/build our forever home ... wherever that may be. (We still haven't figured out where we want to retire .... LOL ) I'm a picky so-and-so and my husband requires certain amenities and well ... we want a diamond studded mansion on a Ramen dinner budget.

Happy PCS season ya'll and here's to finding the home you're dreaming of for this adventure.

Tis the Season | My Hot Mess

Guys, we knew the day was going to come.

I mean, at least THIS time, we knew.

Learning that we were PCSing last time was a shocker. We weren't expecting it because well, Fort Bragg is the only place - LITERALLY THE ONLY PLACE - my husband can be stationed due to his job. So when we found out he was going to become a recruiter and move to El Paso. We were shocked. (read about our first PCS here)

However, this time.

We were ready.

Or at least - expecting it.

I don't think anyone can truly be ready to pack up all their stuff, children and lives and move somewhere. There's always going to be that "oh shit" stage, the "we've got this" stage, and the "Welp, here's goes nothing" stage.

Luckily for us, we knew we would be back at Bragg, because as mentioned above. It's the only place we can go. So we know where we went to live. We know what schools we want the children to go to. We have friends there already and we know our way around the city.

For all you guys who got to different places every three years, you are rock stars. You truly are.

My husband got his order about 3 weeks ago. In hand. I mean, that's amazing. We didn't get order until 4 weeks before we were TO MOVE last time.

So we have the date we must be back at Bragg ... so right now I think I'm in the pre-oh shit stage. Meaning, I know what I have to do ... but meh, I've got 4 months.

I know that's not the right answer, but that's where I'm at. Give me about three weeks and I'll probably get to the "Oh Shit" stage ramped up 7 times because then I'll be freaking out getting all the stuff ready for movers to come.

Even though this will be our second time PCSing, I still feel like I have no clue what to do or how to prepare. I did print off a check list in which I got from an awesome Etsy shop (you can see HERE) again and will be putting together our PCS binder once more.

I will be starting to de-clutter and getting ready for a makeshift garage sell again. I will be forcing helping my kids go through their toys and stuff again and I will be pepping the rental for return.

But that time has yet to come for me. I mean, I am a procrastinator and trying to limit my stress y'all.

I dunno how this will go this time, but I will be sure to keep you posted on our PCS adventures once more!

Hang on to your knickers ladies and gents .... it's going to be chaotic and one hot mess.

I CAN guarantee that!

Don't Reinvent the Wheel | "Werkit" Out Wednesday

I’m not afraid to admit that sometimes when I need to work out and it need to be a QUICK workout, I go to Pinterest.

There’s all kinds of cool pins that deal with workouts that hit certain parts of your body. Why reinvent the wheel to make your own??

Here’s one that I did. (HERE)

I needed the workout to be real quick. I can't remember why I needed it to be fast ... but I assume it was because my life is chaotic and the kiddos were crazy and I just needed it  to be quick.

Really don't need a reason I suppose!

So, the littles and I did a quick run and then I looked up on Pinterest and scored this awesome workout score work out.

The children did not want to cooperate at all.

They were all over the place running around and jumping on me (basically, being themselves). 

I grabbed a toy for the little girl to kind of chill and play with. My son played on his bike for a little bit. He also worked out his core with me for a little bit. 

But mostly he just bugged his little sister. There was a lot of "don’t do this," "don’t do that," "stop that," "don’t touch her," or "leave her alone," and "why did you take that" and so on and on. 

However, I got my workout on. It was a beautiful day. AND the kids got to see me trying to stay healthy.

Hopefully, this will encourage you and my children to just do it. 

Even if you steal borrow a workout from someone else!

A Picture Doesn't Lie | "Werkit" Out Wednesday

I have a confession to make guys.

I don’t see the point of eating healthy and working out regularly.

I mean, if I'm working out I feel like I should be able to eat anything I want.

Makes sense right?

However, I'm getting - ahem -  older and it’s much harder to work off the food that I've just inhaled.

AKA - cookies, hamburgers, tamales, tacos, cake ... I could go on and on. 

My pants weren't fitting like they used to and I knew I had to do something about it.

I decided to do a two month challenge with a group of people who shared the same goals as I did, including my husband.

And you know what? It wasn't horrible. 

It was nice because I wasn’t the only one being held accountable for what I consumed. I had to be held accountable to my group because we wanted to win. We weren’t winning anything personally for ourselves - meaning money for us. We were actually going to be winning the right to choose which charity we wanted our "buy-in" money to go to.

Not only were we helping ourselves get healthier, we were also helping a charity of our choice. 

If I cheated on a meal or I cheated on a work out, it wasn't just me I was cheating on but the entire group as well. And that appeared to be the consensus throughout the group.

I suggest getting with a group and try to earn towards a goal together. Especially if you really, really, really want to meet your goal. 

Anyway, we had to take pictures every week to show the scale number and also pictures of our body. It was not a pretty sight because I couldn't look at myself, let alone show others what I looked like. My body has been so stretched over the years that it is really hard to be proud of what the body can do. It truly is amazing that three children were MADE inside me and I'm so proud of that. 

Confession - Though, a part of me will always grimace at the sight of the stretch marks or the sagging skin. (I'm really working towards loving myself the way I am.)

Let me tell you though, taking pictures every so often to show your progress is what everyone needs to do to visually see what is happening to your body. It's not all about the number on the scale!

I told my coach that I wanted one of those awesome before-and-after pictures that I see all the time on TV or through health groups. Even though my change wasn’t significant within those two months of the challenge, I could see a difference and that’s what kind of pumped me up. 

I ended up losing quite a few inches around my waist and some pounds. I was (and still am) pretty proud of myself. I was proud of my husband. I was proud of my team. We had all done really well. (even though we didn't win)

What really got me was when a Facebook memory showed up. It was a picture of me holding my six week baby girl at one of my recent workout groups. Yes, I had just been cleared to workout and yes, I just had a baby. But I quickly scrolled over to another recent picture of me at one of my running group meetups. The change was amazing.

It was crazy. I could see the difference. I was rounder in the before and I had defiantly thinned out in the more recent image. 

The weekly pictures from the challenge showed my slow progress. But the year difference photo showed my success!

Take your progress pics guys. It will pump you up! 

A picture doesn't lie!

Dealing with Autism | Raising the Boys

Autism.

This is our life now. The meltdowns. The constant repeating of tasks. The continuous bickering of a too literal big brother and a little brother who just doesn’t care for facts.

This is us.

Shirt by Sunshine & Spoons

The chaos will always follow us. We will always come in full force and interrupt your quiet. I’ll always be the strict mom and I’ll always be the momma bear. 

My boxing gloves will always be on to fight for him at school and my apologies will come like second nature for behavior.

Little brother will always be the antagonizer - no matter what.

I’m not sure what little sister’s roll in this mess will be but I do know she’s teaching him responsibility and patience.

I know I haven’t blogged much about what’s going on in our family - I mean the holidays came fast and furious with lots of sugar, excitement and more stimulants then you can count.

We are exhausted.

Now with 2019 here and his 12th birthday behind us we I can refocus and blog/journal more about our experiences.

I finally bit the bullet and joined multiple autism support groups on Facebook. I wanted to see how others deal with this diagnoses but mostly I wanted to finally talk to people who understand. ADHD/High Functioning & Autism is a bitch. Mix in puberty and ohhhhh hell. 

Watch out. 

I don’t know what the diagnosis is and what puberty is. His actions are all over the place. He’s started to get more agitated and less patient to the unknown.

I learned the word “stemming” recently and boy, does that bring a lot more knowledge to what he does & why. Stemming is something an autistic person does to calm, concentrate, focus, and/or protect themselves when things get chaotic, too exciting, too scary, too boring etc.

My son has two types of stemming I’ve noticed so far - when frustrated he brings his hand to his head and squeezes (sorta like pulling his hair as well). And he also flaps his arms - he calls it dancing but to me is more like flapping. Before we would make him stop flapping because, well, it looks ridiculous. But now that I know what it is- we are trying to ignore it.

The squeezing of the head is a little more worrisome only because it sometimes involves him hitting his head on a wall or punching himself. Though, we don’t want him to hurt himself, it’s great to know why he is doing it so we can slow down and rethink how to approach him. 

The women I’ve talked to thru these Facebook groups (and close friends who are going through their own struggles) empathize and relate. They also bring up how they’ve dealt as well as sometimes tell me to suck it up because I was chosen to be his momma and no one else. And I love their tough love because well, autism is our life now.

Shirts by Sunshine & Spoons

Ready or not.

It won’t run us, but it will guide us.

Not Giving a F*ck | My Hot Mess

Do people really not care what others think of them? 

Like, do they say they don’t - act like they don’t, but then go home to the quietness or lay in bed in the darkness and think about what others have said. 

I mean, I feel like we were built to people please - or at least attempt to be seen as “good and righteous” in the eyes of others. If someone says something about you and you truly don’t give a flying fuck - are you being true to yourself? 

I really want to know. 

I try to not care - I’m a grown woman and in my teenage years I spent way too much time and effort on trying to appease people that didn’t care about me and in the long term, didn’t even matter to me. Lots of wasted time.

So, I feel like I’ve learned from that experience and now only put effort to what will help me grow and build better relationships, but will make me mentally stronger. 

But no matter how hard I try- people get to me. I’m a person who strives to be the best version of myself. 

Yes, I have my faults and I can agree with you on that, but I try to not let people down on a day to day basis. The worst "punishment" to me while growing up was when my father (only once) told me "You disappointed me." And I deserved that because what I did was stupid and definitely the wrong thing to do.

How can one person’s opinion of me affect me to the point I’m writing this blog?! 

One comment. One measly comment that said I wasn't adequate enough to do what I do that it attacked my brain into rethinking I'm not as good as I thought I was.

What the hell.

How do you bounce back from that?

Many friends tried to comfort me.

"It was only one comment, Shari."

"A fluke -- just a fluke, Shari."

"You don't need to worry about one's opinion when it's obviously wrong. You have many other compliments and accomplishments to let this one comment affect you."

They all meant well. And they validated me.

But I'm a people pleaser. Why didn't this one person like me? 

"You shouldn't give a fuck about what others think of you."

I know ... but how the hell do you do that??!?!!?!

Does it stem from low self-esteem?

I shouldn't be suffering from that. I know my worth. It's taken a long time to find that inside.

Does is stem from not truly understanding yourself?

I could see that. I'm still trying to figure out the way my brain works and how to better myself. I don't think one SHOULD fully understand themselves because you SHOULD want to better yourself. 

You're not going to please everyone. I get it. But why be rude about it. It cut deep. 

Complimented everyone who was with me ... but blatantly called me out. Was it to stop me from doing what I do? Was it to give me some sort of punishment? Or whatever I did to you hurt soooo badly - hurt your character soooo much - Hurt your manhood soooo much - that you needed me to dwell on it and cause me pain as well?

Because that's what you did.

But it's cool. I will learn to live with your comments and will use them to better myself. Because my supporters are right. You're just one person, and I shouldn't beat myself up because of your lame, cowardly comments (because you couldn't say it to my face). I will use your foolish comments to help me grow - both in my profession and mentally.

I too want to learn how to not give a fuck. But until then, your comments will get me closer to that goal. You can push me down, but you can't stop me from getting back up.