When the Shit Hits the Fan | Loving Him

I don't know how you single parents do it.

You guys rock. 

I mean, you really do!

I understand you get into your routines and you set the rules ... you're in charge and don't have to rely on someone else's opinion or routines.

BUT

What do you do when the shit hits the fan??

Like -- The car breaks down just before football practice and you think you walk there but you actually had the wrong address ... so now you just walked a mile away from the house with your 11 year old son and 4 year old toddler to find out you're in the wrong place and won't be making the practice after all - which your eldest has been losing forward to all week and now you have to walk all the way back home with a whiny toddler who's tired and a pissed off preteen. Oh not to mention, that morning you walked 3.5 miles to get your toddler to dance class only to find out it was canceled and you missed the phone call from the teacher because you were busy WALKING/PUSHING the big ass double stroller to post to make it on time for the flipping dance class.  Oh and then throw a sick infant into the mix ... yeah.

The only thing that could've made it worse ... a broken full bottle of wine on your kitchen floor and your husband calls from his TDY to ask "How'd your day go?"

Yeah.

How the hell do you handle that EVERY SINGLE DAY!?

Having an extra set of hands around the house is so awesome. It really is. I lucked out when it came to finding my forever mate. He's pretty awesome.

But why the fuck does everything pile up when he's gone?!

Like, seriously? The truck couldn't break down when he was here? Like - seriously?

We are a two car family. We are lucky. BUT this week - he took the second vehicle on TDY. So we only had the ONE vehicle.

This comes to another round of applause...

Here's to the single car families!!!

You guys are amazing. Getting everyone to work, to school, to activities, back to pick up from school, pickup from work, back home.... etc. You guys are super humans. You really are. I was exhausted and could not wait for the truck to be fixed.

I understand that when it's a way of life, you make it happen. If you only have one car - you figure it out. If you're the only parent - you figure it. I get it.

But when life suddenly changes and you're down a job, down a car, down a parent, down SOMETHING. Why does it seem everything else hits the fan too? Is it the extra stress? You only look at the negative now? How do you guys surpass the "FML" feeling and get shit done? Because I was about to just say F it and run away!

No joke!

A Change in the Mix | My Hot Mess

We are in deep doo-doo here guys.

I haven't blogged in a while because, well, I did a thing.

Actually,

BIRTHED a thing.

A GIRL.

Guys, we have gone from a family of a husband, a wife, two boys, two male dogs and a male cat to adding another female in the mix.

A human baby girl.

I'm no longer a mommy of boys!

Not only do I have to get used to having three children, but I gotta get used to all the girlie things.

Which let's be honest, is amazing. Like, I'm not too set on society norms ... pink means girl, blue means boy kinda shit. But I mean, it IS different having a baby girl in the house now.

And I love it.

Like, my two loud, obnoxious, rough boys are learning to be gentle and more "soft."

.... As much as an ADHD hormonal boy can and a (now) FOUR year old can.

Maybe she will bring calm to our world. Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice -- right?

A momma can hope right?

Even up to my last night being pregnant, walking up to the hospital, I wasn't 100% convinced the tiny human growing inside me was a girl. After all... I had the shirt and all!

Sure, we had bought a few girlie things. An outfit here, a pink bow there ... but the majority of the "stuff" we got was still gender neutral (or hand me downs from the boys). I was just too afraid to commit to the ultra sound that said "Girl." I mean, after all, I WAS a momma of boys. 

People thought I was crazy when I posted the Instagram pic that said the gender was in an envelope and wouldn't be opened for another month or two until we had our photo session. 

"I couldn't last that long!"

"How are you not peeking at the envelope?"

"It would eat me up inside not knowing!"

It was fairly easy to not look at the envelope, one - I put it where it wasn't in plain view. Two - we went a whole pregnancy not knowing what my youngest was last time. We found out his gender when I pushed him out of my belly. And three - I was convinced it was a boy anyway.

So lemme tell you my surprise when this happened:

We let the boys spray silly string to let us know if we were having a boy or girl. I had bought both blue and pink string and covered both with silver paper so we wouldn't know once the lids were off. 

Our photographer looked at the envelope away from us to ensure we couldn't see her slip the lids off and on the count of three, we were dosed in pink silly string. 

I couldn't believe it. The photographer showed me the ultra sound ... and I still didn't believe it. LOL

I had to go back for another ultra sound due to little miss not wanting to show her profile for the doc in the first ultra sound, and even then they double checked her sex ... still a girl they said. But even then, there was no way I was having a girl. Why? Because I wanted a girl so bad, but I was a momma of boys. Every time someone asked if I knew what I was having, I'd respond, "They say a girl. But nothing is final until the baby comes out!" People would giggle, but I was completely serious. Completely.

And then this little nugget came out. The first thing I asked as everyone was oh-ing and aw-ing when she came out, "Is it a girl?" No one answered. My husband was misty eyed as they put her on my chest. I lifted her up and checked in between her legs, sure enough. I was a momma of a girl now.

Why am I telling y'all this? Because I feel like a brand new momma. Sure I have the experience of how to travel with a baby, change a diaper, breastfeed ... etc ... but I have a girl now. I've never experienced taking care of a girl... at least my own little princess. 

Guys, it really is different! I have to say "she," "her," and everything! LOL and "my little girl," "my daughter" everything is different. And I love it. I really can't explain it. The boys will always have a piece of my heart and the little one that didn't make it, BUT this little rainbow girl has got me wrapped around her finger already!

I will probably have a section just for her in the blog because she has her own story to share, along with her big brothers.

So bring on the pink bows, the unicorns, the princesses, the dolls and the glitter - I'm ready. And you better believe she'll be just as tough and rough as the boys because momma don't raise no sissy-la-las. 

I Lost My Toddler | Raising the Boys

Never in a million years would I have thought he'd actually run away.

Nope.

He's thrown body-gone-limp tantrums before in which I just let go and walk away.

But he's always came running back to me with tears in his eyes.

He's crossed his arms and stopped walking in front of toy/candy stores and I've kept walking proclaiming, "Bye then."

But he's always yelled after me, "No! Don't leave me!"

He's.

Always.

Come. 

Back.

The other day at the shopping mall was a different story.

My husband and I walked out of our Target just like any other time we had and our toddler asked, "Can I go play?"

There's a bunch of those moving kiddie rides that cost an arm and a leg to just rock back and forth in front of Target, but inside an actual shopping mall. We agreed, like we normally do but said, "just 5 minutes."

We don't put coins in the rides, but he enjoys them the same. And sometimes, just sometimes, he hops in on other people's rides and we have to act embarrassed and say, "No no no, you can't just get in there!"

But he did that too many times on this particular day and so we cut his time short. Needless to say, the toddler was not happy about that and made it clear. He cried and stomped his feet but I had his arm and we headed towards the exit.

He went limp on me.

I let go of his arm.

He laid there on the ground, crying.

I began to walk away, my husband turned his back with me and we both said, "Okay, Bye!"

We walked about 8-10 feet away, I stopped turned around and my toddler was no longer on the ground.

In fact, I couldn't see him anywhere.

I looked at my husband, "He's gone."

"What?" my husband asked looking around.

We both walked back to the rides and searched in and around them. We walked behind the rides a little to see if ran the opposite direction.

Nope.

We walked back towards the exit to see if he had just ran by and we didn't see him.

Nope.

An older gentleman cleared his throat, "He ran that way." He pointed towards Target's entrance.

I got my husband's attention and we both went into Target again.

No Toddler to be found.

I walked back out while my husband walked further into Target. A younger woman was paying attention to our semi-panic and was moving her head around trying to look for my toddler too.

"He ran into the Target and went that way," she pointed to the right in which would've been in front of the cashiers' lines and the customer service area of Target. So, I went back into Target and walked the whole line from one exit to the other searching for my Toddler.

Surprisingly, my heart wasn't in a panic yet. I was fairly confident I would find him. I know my Toddler. He always comes back.

He ALWAYS comes back.

I reached the other exit and still had no toddler.

This is when my hands started to shake. I walked out the second exit, the one that is also close to the shopping center exit that leads to a huge parking lot to the left ...

Suddenly I heard, "You don't know where your mommy is?"

I looked to my right and there was my Toddler -pouty face, arms crossed, eyebrows furred.

A woman was trying to get information out of my toddler and stranger danger came into effect. I was briskly walking in the opposite direction of the shopping mall exit and I exclaimed, "I'm right here!"

The woman sighed a sigh of relief and walked into Target as my toddler ran to me ... but hesitantly.

He knew he was in the wrong.

I asked, "Why did you run away? You know you're not supposed to leave mommy."

I sat him down on the red bench and reached for my cell to inform my husband that I had found him.

"I'm very upset with you," I said to my toddler.

My toddler cried and wanted to get off the bench. But I informed him that it was a timeout. I explained that the lady was nice enough to try to help him but there are other people who could have taken him away for ever.

Was it the right technique? Meh. I dunno. But I was pretty upset, and so was my husband.

I'm hoping that my toddler learned a lesson. I know I did ... I can't just walk away anymore. He's getting more and more independent by the day and I know what he was thinking.

The Target cashiers are parallel to the shopping center hallway, so he was going to just cut us off at the shopping center exit but go through the Target area. He didn't expect us to stop and turn around. I mean, he's little toddler brain doesn't know that the hallway and the cashier lines are about a tenth of a mile long and there's no way mom and dad would NOT turn around to check on their baby. Luckily though, he says he didn't go outside the automatic doors that led to the parking lot. That was my fear... that he'd gone out there and my little baby would've been totally exposed to anyone.

And thank God for his crankiness when it comes to adults talking to him. Normally I get embarrassed of his crass looks and sharp tongue to strangers ... but that day, I'm thankful (even if the lady was just trying to help him) he took stranger danger seriously.

I do not want to lose my toddler again ... unless he's 18 and ready to move out of my house.

Playground Workout | 'Werk it Out' Wednesday

New Year, New You bullshit right?

2017 has come in like a storm and it's already the 4th day.

Don't get me wrong y'all ... I fully support any and every one who wants to get up off their asses to move. Whether it's walking around the block, doing 5 pushups, or joining a gym.

I love that.

Because I was there once.

I was just had my first child. I thought the weight would magically melt away because, shit, I was only 23 years old! My metabolism was still hight and I could eat a tub of cookie dough and not gain a pound.

Well ... I was wrong.

The weight didn't magically go away. And I was the heaviest I had been in a like .... ever. I'm not going to put down a number because my "heavy" isn't someone else's "heavy." I know there are heavier people out there, but for my build and my esteem. I was too heavy.

I had to get up off my ass and start back at it. I had to run. I had to lift weights. And I had to learn not to eat the entire tub of cookie dough.

So guys, I get it. We all start some where. What I want you guys to realize is that, just because it's a new year doesn't mean its a NEW you.

You have to work hard. You have to stay motivated and you have to lean on other for support.

Trust me, my motivation comes and goes. Sometimes I wanna run the length of the country and sometimes I just wanna pull the covers up and go to sleep. BUT -- I have motivators that come in all different ways.

1 - my sons. They look up to me. I have to stay healthy for them. I want to be here when they give me my grandchildren. Hell, I wanna be here for my grandchildren's children!

2 - I have health buddies who keep me accountable. They ensure I get to workouts. Ask how I am and are just there for me if my motivation just isn't.

3 - myself. I wanna be that hot mom -- with a few dimples of skin, mom-sag boobs and just a few wrinkles. I want to feel good about myself. I want to say that I look this way because I work hard for it ... well, I work for it... lol sometimes I think I should've pushed harder and didn't. And sometimes I just want that tub of cookie dough!

4 - my workout app. Yeah. LOL. That thing will make you feel like shit when it dings "congratulations! you've met your goal of 1 hour of sitting!" Yeah... I like seeing, "You maxed out on miles this week!" Not "Hey lazy-ass ... congrats ... you wasted another day staring at Facebook dreaming of those healthy, buff women who only eat Kale." 

5 - my sanity. I've noticed that when I skip workouts - or just the interaction with other adults - my stress level is higher, I have a shorter temper, and I just plain feel like shit. 

6 - Instagram challenges. Not only do I get to figure out a new and creative way to take a "proof" picture, it also keeps me accountable because I don't want my challengers to doubt my commitment and I want that damn prize! ;)

Guys, find your motivation. Take 2017 by the cajones and get healthy. But remember, you'll still be you. The new you will still be the same ol' person who loves cookie dough; who wants to sleep in; who wants extra butter on the popcorn; who really doesn't wanna go to the gym; and who still wants to be better.

You are awesome.

You will succeed.

And you can become a better you.

But you'll always be Y.O.U.

Let's start off the new year with these moves for a playground work out! I know you're going as crazy as I am with these buggers home during winter vacation. Don't worry guys, one 4 more days and school starts! ;)

Have fun and good luck!

(see below for work out!)

How the workout works:

Let the kids run free at the playground while you work on your HIIT. I only have three exercises today, so do them for however long you can do it. We jog to and from the park so that is our cardio, you can also throw in jumping jacks or burpees to add cardio to your HIIT!

Start with a timer of 40 seconds on and 20 seconds rest. Do all three exercises and then repeat for however long you can go.

Jump ups (Box jumps) -- be safe! Start low and work your way up! If jumping up on a ledge or  bench or playground step scares you, just step up onto them working your way up to a jump.

Step up with leg lift (alternate legs) -- using bench, step of playground, ledge, step up and lift leg behind you to tighten your rear-end. Alternate legs each time.

Elevated pushups using bench -- Using a table, ledge, bench, do close handed pushups keeping your elbows tucked into your sides. This works your triceps - no more "bat wings" for you!

Disclaimer:  I am not a doctor or health coach or any one qualified to tell you what you can and can't do with your body. You are the judge of how each exercise feels. If it hurts, don't do it. If you get hurt  doing an exercise I suggest, it's ultimately your decision to try the workout. I just offer suggestions to stay moving.