Pregnancy Workout | "Werkit" Out Wednesday

Surprise! Guys, I'm pregnant.

I haven't really announced that to you here, but I suppose I have mentioned here and there in my blog.

Well -- here's a pregnancy workout for you to do at home if you are expecting as well. ALSO, this is good for those of you who AREN'T pregnant. These are safe body weight and elastic band workouts!

You can find Source HERE

The pictures below are from the "Friday" exercise from above I also added the arm workouts with the bands. I also added a side crunch for those nasty love handles that are spreading ... lol

                                   Reverse Lunge                                            Band Bicep Curl

Modified plank leg lift

                             Hammer Curls with Band                                Curtsy Lunge

Side Crunch with Kettle Bell (15 on Each side)

Shoulder Press Up with Band (15 times)

See? And I didn't even have to leave my garage! Let me know how this workout worked for you!
Disclaimer:  I am not a doctor or health coach or any one qualified to tell you what you can and can't do with your body. You are the judge of how each exercise feels. If it hurts, don't do it. If you get hurt  doing an exercise I suggest, it's ultimately your decision to try the workout. I just offer suggestions to stay moving.

Where'd My Happy Go? | My Hot Mess

Lemme explain something:

I'm happy. I really, truly am.

BUT --

It has been a while since I've really, truly FELT happy.

I've had many moments throughout these past few months after the move that I've felt happiness.

I've made friends, no one super close, but we haven't even been here a year yet - so I'm good with what I have thus far. I work out with them, I hang out with them, the kids enjoy each other; so they're friends for sure.

The house has been fine, nothing perfect, but nothing horrible. The pictures are hung and they make me smile as I move from room to room. The dogs have claimed their shaded spots in the yard, and even the cat had been more friendly.

My husband's job is stressful, but fulfilling. He has made a relationship with his coworkers and he's part of the Team RWB softball team. -- which I have become heavily affiliated with. I'm the community engagement director (community service) for our city's group.

The boys enjoy horseback riding, golf and tumbling. School is hectic, and well ... to be honest, that hasn't brought me any kind of happiness, BUT my eldest has made friends there.

My business is going. Nothing spectacular but again, I've only been in business here 9 months ... what do you expect.

We are expecting baby #3 in the Fall and we couldn't be any more excited. Will it be another crazy boy or will we get to buy bows and ribbons??

So, on the outside, everything seems to be falling into place. I SHOULD be happy. I SHOULD know where my happy is.

But guys, I don't know where I put it. I've lost it somewhere between the move, school trouble, family stress, personal doubt, and of course - appearing to have it all together. FYI - I don't.

I thought yoga was my start to finding my happy again, and it a way, it has. However, my free place to practice has now changed to a place 45 mins away (an hour with traffic) and once you get there, parking is a bitch and by the time I get to yoga - I'm so stressed out, that the session is just a bust. I haven't been in about a month and a half. Why don't I do it at home? Psh.... you try finding your happy with a 3 year old running around!

I've also really dug into essential oils. I've relying heavily on lavender to calm me and others to purify my home. I joke that I need a practicing Wiccan (or a priest) to come purify my home ... but I think there is some sense of truth behind my jokes. I had a friend volunteer to "smudge" my home. I need to hit her up and have her do that ASAP.

I have even looked into the healing "powers" of stones/gems. Guys ... I'm not a hippie-dippie  person. I'm not. And when yogi's start chanting and bringing out the drums ... I start to giggle. But guys, I'm willing to try anything to find my happy again.

A friend (check her out HERE) started making lava rock/bead bracelets that you can drop essential oils on and what not. Not only are they gorgeous but she also took a suggestion of mine and used howlite beads (for anxiety and calmness) and of course, chakra beads! ... I'm wearing the shit outta her bracelets. I think I'm going to buy up all her stock ... every other day I'm asking her for another sized bracelet! I got three for me, one for my eldest and one for my husband.

Dammit, we are going to find our happy. 

I don't believe I'm in a depressed state of mind, I think its just the stress of raising a defiant child, chasing a toddler, growing a baby, loving a husband ... and still making dinner. I mean, I guess every one still has to eat! ;)

Like I said, there have been moments of joy and happiness, but for some reason, it doesn't stick around. I need that sucker to stop disappearing on me! Where'd I put that super glue?

How do you find your happy? How do you keep it?

Knowing Your Business | Girl Boss

Guys, being your own boss is amazing. 

I'm not going to lie.

But it also sucks.

You always have to answer to yourself. You always have to hold yourself accountable. You always blame yourself when monies aren't looking right. You always get angry at yourself when things go awry. There's no one else to blame but YOURSELF.

I'm in a creative business. I'm a photographer. There's a lot of heart that goes into my services that I provide and I take a lot of pride in that.

When someone insults my work (with not legit reason) or how I run things, I take it hard. I don't let it break me, but it does make me want to rethink how I do things.

HOWEVER -- 

When this happens to me, its very few and far. So, that being said - the majority of my clients (the clients I want to keep coming back to me) love my work and how I run my business. I have a ton of positive feedback that proves this. Shit, I've been in business for five years now. I'm reaching that goal mark in my business plan that allows me to say, "I've made it longer than most self-employed business owners."

And I can honestly say, my work speaks for itself. I recently had a message that bothered me and I made a Facebook rant ... I know, I know -- girl stop the drama. But I want y'all to know this and take this into perspective - no matter what sort of business you have:

I'm just gonna put this out there, you can grab it or you can turn away:

When you buy something online, you HAVE to pay the full price for it to get shipped to you. You HAVE to rely on the fact that the pictures speak for themselves and that the company you are ordering from is legit. It may or may not fit. It may or may not be the right color. It may or may not be what you wanted, but you had to pay the full price. You read over the return policy (or not) but either way, the company is not going to say, "Oh sure! Pay half now and half when you get your product." Because of course, you (or other consumers) will definitely pay the rest of the payment once you have the product in hand and love it .... 

Same thing goes for photographers people. No, I'm not going to let you put some money down for a photo session "just in case you don't like the images." What an insult to my work. You are paying for a service, and I will be giving you that service whether you like the images or not. But more than likely, you're going to love that service because I care about you. I want you to LOVE your images. I will ensure you're satisfied. So, I'm sorry -- if you don't want to pay up front, I'm not the photographer for you. I'm not afraid to say no, because this is my business and I'm proud of it.

 Guys, it's so hard to get people to understand the difference between paying more for a small business than paying less from a HUGE company. You're getting personalize service. I've written numerous "rants" on Facebook. And sometimes, you just need perspective:

It frustrates the hell out of me when people don't appreciate the time and love that goes into creating an image for them. If you simply just want someone to click the damn button, get your mom to do that or set a self timer. Don't question me why I am priced the way I am. It's called making a living and before you go pay $6 for a coffee, $150 for a pair of shoes, or $250 for a dress -- all from businesses that could care less if they got your money or not because they are already banking, think of the small businesses who take the time to personalize their service to Y.O.U. 

Small businesses don't just take your money and wave good bye, small businesses ensure that the money you are paying is for exactly what you want -- creative or not. They call you to make sure you got the gallery link, they ensure that everything makes sense when you ordering and even catch mistakes you may have made in the ordering process to ensure you're getting the best deal. They personally review every product you are to receive to ensure quality. They take time away from their own families to ensure your family gets the best and greatest. They sometimes check emails when they are technically aren't within business hours. They check their calendars to see if they could possibly squeeze you in even though they really just want to spend that time with their own family. They ensure you are completely satisfied and they hope you'll be a returning customer again and again. 

There's a lot a small business owner does for a client, don't question why they charge the way they do. Every number has been calculated to ensure cost of business, taxes, equipment costs and in hopes there will still be some left over for some sort of income. But really, a small business owner is running his or her own business because they love what the do. If you don't want to pay what a small business owner charges, then go somewhere else, but think before you question them on why they charge the way they do. 

If you want Walmart prices, you're going to get Walmart quality. If you like Walmart quality and service, continue to go to them and leave small business owners alone. There's no need to publicly question them in hopes of discrediting them.
thank you.

**steps off soap box**

I take everything to heart guys. I need you to be as proud and confident as I appear on Facebook to be. Yes, I still struggle with doubt and always think I could've done better. I still seek out compliments from people and I still wish I was "as good as so-and-so." BUT I think that's good. You always want to strive for better, because if you already think you're the best - there's no room for growth.

Girl Bosses out there - own your worth! You are worth every single penny! 

Stay true to yourselves ladies!

My Boy is a Mess, Literally | Raising the Boys

Guys, I know - I know... another post about the boys? 

Well YEAH.

When you have two boys and they pretty much consume your entire life ... most of my chaotic life is about them.

So suck it up.

I wanna talk about cleaning rooms. 

Who else has a fight with their child overtime it's "cleaning day?"

Yeah, we have a cleaning day because of all the fights we get into. Like, if it's not scheduled, all hell breaks loose. Like, it still does, but it's more like Hiroshima chaos instead of my life is over chaos.

Is there a difference? 

I suppose not, but at least I can use the argument, "You know it's Sunday and it's CLEANING DAY."

Guys, my eldest ... he could live in a pig-stye and not mind it one bit.

Not ONE bit.

Like, he will bitch and moan all day about cleaning his room ... eventually it'll get done -- like 5 days later, but it's somewhat picked up. I can at least see the floor.

Give him 5 minutes of "play time" and the room is wrecked again. I don't get it.

I'm not OCD in like everything has to be perfect ... I'm not super germaphobic, but I don't like clutter and there does come a point where I'll look at the kitchen sink and be like, "What in the F? This place is a disaster and we need to clean."

I have him do his own laundry because I'm tired of doing loads upon loads every weekend. He complains about folding the clothes. I told him to hang his clothes then ... NOPE. Where do they end up?

On the Ground.

Next to the dirty clothes ...

Then guess what? Now we don't know what's clean or dirty.

What in the actual hell?!

Also, his idea of cleaning is pushing all the crap/toys/paper/whatever to the corners of the room. Because, "mom, you can see the floor."

OH EM GEE.

Boy! This is not clean! it smells in here and if you were to vacuum right now, all your tiny legos would be sucked up. GET THIS ROOM CLEAN!

Now before y'all start offering up ideas on how to make this process simpler ... lemme tell you what we have tried:

1) A timer - we set a time limit for him to clean. If he completes it in time (properly) he gets a reward (extra outside time, a date night ...ect.) If he doesn't, okay that's fine we will continue on our day but he will not get any rewards or normal play time until it is cleaned.

2) A picture board - I actually took an hour and half and cleaned his room with him explaining exactly how I want it to look. I took pictures of everything. We made a chart that stated "This is how my room looks clean." So this is more of a visual cue of what a clean room looks like.

3) Saying "F - it" as long the toys are in the toy box and the clothes are hung, and I can see the floor -- it's clean. All he had to do was throw toys (unorganized) into boxes off the floor and hang his clothes. Oh, and ensure his bed is made (comforter neat with pillows piled nicely). That's IT!

4) Taking all his stuff away - He's complained that he has too much of a mess (meaning too much stuff), so I took everything away. All he had was his bed and clothes. But somehow, even THEN his room would be full of paper trash and the clothes all over the place. He could care less that he had no toys.

5) Forgetting about the mess - The therapist told us to "ignore the mess." Uh ... okay. So I just closed the door to his room. Two months later the mess was so unbearable, I went in and cleaned the shit up. So what did that teach him? If I wait long enough, mom will do it for me.

6) Threatened his life ... no not really ... but sorta. It just doesn't work. I don't ask for much. I just want it to be tidy. I wasn't a super clean child either and I remember arguing with my parents about my room ... but I cleaned it when told to do so. I just don't get it.

So after all that ... you guys have any other suggestions? I may or may not listen because frankly ... I've given up. I throw in the towel. I will forever be cleaning up after him and his spouse in the far future will be doing the same thing.

Poor poor soul.

Good luck out there peeps!

A Child's Worth is Challenged | Raising the Boys

So I’m going to confess something … I really don’t WANT to because I know I’ll get some backlash on this. Whether the backlash is said in public, behind a computer screen, or mumbled under your breath.

BUT

I feel like I NEED to confess this.

My eldest … my behavioral challenged son,  got suspended from school the other day because he brought a knife to school.

And not just a pocket knife, but a military grade knife.

Why you ask?

Because – and this is in his own words – he wanted to prove his worth to another child.

Yeah.

So --- This post is going to hit on three things here: the importance of teaching weapon safety, the importance to know a military child versus a civilian child, and child self esteem.

ONE – Obviously we agree with the school and the punishment and all that shit. I mean, I get it. It was a dumb thing my son did and luckily no one got hurt. And blah blah blah. I get it. To further his punishment, I made him write an essay on the importance of weapon safety and why we don’t bring weapons to school. He honestly didn’t think what he was doing was a bad choice. He just wanted to show off the knife. In the end, he cut himself. Not horribly, but he actually hurt himself in the process. So, really – he taught himself the importance of weapon safety.  He will read his essay to the princpals and his teacher – hopefully in front of the class so that he gets some “public shaming” peer-to-peer learning as well.

TWO – This leads me to the whole military child versus a civilian child. He brought to school a military grade knife. Not your typical Swiss Army Knife, but a knife that is longer than 6 inches and could do a lot of damage. If it had been about a half inch larger, he would have been expelled.

I get it. He shouldn’t have done this. I do, I really, truly understand why he was punished and that he F’d up. BUT – now hear me out, he’s the child of two military parents, two military grandparents, and 4 military great grandparents. It’s in his genes to not be normal when it comes to weapons.

Military child know about war. The hazards, the victims, the reason, and the allure. They make anything into guns, anything into knives, and anything becomes a bad guy versus good guy. Because that’s whats ingrained into their brains from birth. ESPECIALLY the military child of today. We have been at war for their entire lives. The chance of them having a parent or other family member at war is super ridiculous – even know the toll of multiple deployments. Face it civilian world, when a military child does anything – they’re going to do it to the fullest of MILITARY. So of course the kid he wanted to show off to had a smaller knife … he doesn’t have access to military grade knives! My child wanted to prove something and he did, “My knife is bigger (and cooler) than yours.”

THREE – Which brings me to conclude with a child’s self-esteem.  After our initial shock/anger of our sweet, 10 year old child bringing a weapon to school, things calmed down and I asked him why he did it. He shook his head and looked down at the ground. He had gotten caught with a knife that another student (rightfully so) told the teacher about and my son was going to be in really big trouble.

He eventually narc’d out another child who had brought a knife to school that day too – a child that my son seems to get into trouble with all the time. Who’s the bad influence here? I’m going to say the other child … because, well, I’m defending my child. LOL but that’s not the point. The point is, my son got teary-eyed and said, “[Child’s name] told me I meant nothing to him.”

Ouch.

I know right? My son continued to explain that this child is sometimes nice to him but most of the time he’s mean. I asked why he hangs out with this child then, and he shrugged his shoulders. Obviously, this child has some sort of power over my son, that my son will pretty much do anything for him. And I can relate.

Growing up, I had a “friend” who I would have done anything for just to get her to notice me or show my value to her. I get it. Friends are everything at this age. Children value their peer’s praise. They set their own worth on how others see them. And I don’t know how to fix that. I’ve, on multiple occasions, told my son how much he’s worth and the only person who can decide his worth is HIM.

But it’s not that easy is it?

How can we help our children see their worth? Our children are losing a battle right now. Society is changing so quickly and value/worth is seen through interaction with others  - and that is skewed because interaction with others sit behind computer screens now.  Children are committing suicide due to cyber-bullying. I mean, what the hell is wrong with our society right now?

Even though my son’s interaction with this other child was face to face and not over the internet, it was still very potent. Someone telling him he was nothing set into motion a series of events that lead to poor decisions on my son’s part. Luckily, no one was injured and hopefully we have taught him a lesson. But how dare that child say that.

And where do you think that child learned that? I’m not insinuating anything, but apparently, we (as parents/guardians) need to be better mentors to our children. They hear everything. They will mimic what they see. Be kind people … be kind.

And lock up your knives.

My Yoga Journey | 'Werk it' Out Wednesday

It all started when I saw a Facebook post from our on-post PX shopping center. 

Fort Bliss has a place called "Freedom Crossing." And it's pretty baller.

It not only hosts our PX, but also hosts the Class Six, a Starbucks, our food court, an Under Armor Store, an Irish Pub, a beautiful women's clothing store, The Dollar Tree, Buffalo Wild Wings, a Texas Roadhouse, and many other awesome stores.

Basically, it's pretty rad and you should check it out the next time you're on Fort Bliss.

But to continue my story, one of the "fast food" restaurants Healthy Pizza, was offering free sunset yoga on the lawn of Freedom Crossing. Now, I've done yoga in the past and I dug it. But it wasn't something that really REALLY interested me. I just did it to do it.

I decided that my hot mess, stressed out self needed some ME time and told the hubby I was going to try it out and ran out the door.

And I LOVED it.

Every Tuesday evening, I'd head out there and do my thing and feel amazing. This lead to me getting into a holiday challenge with my friend, Chrissy. She challenged me to 12 Days of Yogamas and we ROCKED it!

With the holiday challenge and the free yoga on post, I was totally digging everything that yoga was doing for me ... and still is. BUT - it began to get cold in the desert and the free yoga ended.

I was at a loss.

I needed the motivation to keep doing yoga and face it y'all .... I'm not a good accountability partner to myself.

And then it happened.

Another Facebook post popped up and a local cafe was going to offer free yoga presented by Dare to Dream Yoga and I mean, LOOK AT THIS PLACE!

This location was a dream! And Dare to Dream Yoga's mission is that yoga should be available to anyone and for free. So I was once again hooked!

Every Wednesday, I'd head out to the west side, over the mountain and through the construction. It has become a religion to me. It calms me and allows me to escape from reality for an hour. And for that, I'm very grateful.

I've continued to do Instagram challenges that make me work hard at hitting certain poses in my practice but most of all, to keep me accountable. My strength has improved and I have lost inches due to yoga. However, my eating habits haven't changed. I'm assuming now, but if was I was to lay off the cookies, I'd probably have a significant change in body mass.

Everyone has their way of getting into shape. Not everyone wants to sweat sprinting up a hill carrying a 30 pound tire on their shoulders. 

What needs to happen is: you, moving ... whether it's slow and steady or fast and heavy.

Just move.

And that's the point of 'Werk it' Out Wednesday!

Get it GURL!

Jealousy of Gender Roles | Loving Him

Is it wrong of me to smirk, just a tad, when I leave for a said amount of time and my husband is alone with the children?

Is it wrong of me to heave a sigh of relief when my children act out when my husband has them?

Is it wrong for me to feel some sort of satisfaction that my husband is stressing over all the minuscule tasks of day-to-day life of raising a family and still trying to have a career?

Is it wrong of me to be just a tad disappointed when family members come out to help him while I'm gone?

I mean ... these are all just hypothetical questions, and I would NEVER have these feelings ...

*insert eye roll*

Listen, my husband is awesome and he never complains about having to do extra house chores or watching his own children when mommy needs a break. I'm not saying he's not competent enough to do this on his own, because he very much is.

And I'm lucky for that.

HOWEVER,

(and yes, there's always a however in these sort of posts)

However, I have been through 7 deployments where he was gone anywhere from 9 months to 4/6 months at a time. One of them we were childless but the rest I had one child to two.

And here's the thing.

I made shit happen. 

Was it stressful? Hell yeah!

Was it a pain in the ass? Hell yeah!

But I made it just fine.

I will insert here that I did have help from time to time from family members but mostly because I would have my Army Reserve duty over the weekends and my mother would come out to help. I also had my father-in-law come out when I had a leadership course that was over two weeks long.

BUT - every other day, it was me and the boys.

And we made it.

So, when I leave for two weeks here and a month there, I get frustrated that he has the help from my mother or his mother.

I get it, it is different now because I work from home so our schedule is different. We need someone to care for out littlest full time and the oldest takes the bus home. Husband doesn't get home until after 5pm so the oldest would be home alone for 2 hours ... which, we can't exactly TRUST him to be alone for that amount of time. So I get that we need the extra help.

I really do. 

Though, the littlest could technically go to daycare full time (an added expense that would be a burden, but doable because I am getting paid more tan normal) and the eldest could be picked up from school by dad or hang out at the after school program in his school ... so see? Things could be done to fully immerse my husband into the hell life I endured (and still do) when he leaves.

Alas, I do want to conclude with this:

I am very lucky to have the man I have asa husband. One who takes on the challenges and appreciates what I do every day. He even mentioned to me over the phone the other day that he doesn't know how I do what I do every day. LOL It meant a lot to me for him to actually see everything from my perspective. It's very easy for the spouse who leaves all the time to not understand how hard it really is back home. They've got other things to worry about; the job, the hazards, the monotony, etc.

I try not to feel jealous of the help he gets, because family members are always willing to come to my aide if I was to need it. Yeah, I want him to suffer through what I do, but I'm so very thankful that I have people in our lives that are able to help at the drop of a pin.

Do any of you feel the same way? How do you combat these feelings?